There are lots of phrases related to the idea that what goes around, comes around. My personal favorites come from the Bible. One of these is what’s known as The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31, NIV). There’s also the notion described in Galatians 6:7 that a man reaps what he sows. Indian religions refer to it as Karma, based on the concept that an action or deed sets off an entire cycle of cause and effect.
So, what do we do with this? Well, I see these concepts as a call to action. If there’s a path to peace, I believe it starts with these ideas and the positive actions that can come of them. Paying it forward is a great way to embark on this path. Since we also know that one of the best ways to get out of yourself (and whatever issues you may be having) is to help someone else, there are numerous potential emotional, psychological and spiritual benefits to helping others.
Helping others can be as simple as picking up something that a fellow shopper dropped in the grocery store or lending a hand to someone who needs it. I’m happy to report that I experienced the latter form of kindness recently in a busy airport. I was attempting to push my two children in an unruly stroller while towing a baggage cart behind me. In a span of about three minutes, two people offered to help at different times. I gladly accepted the offers, thanked them each profusely and smiled as a I realized that there is still kindness in the world, that people do still have concern for others and treat them as they’d like to be treated. Such simple things can have such a profound positive impact.
These simple efforts can make a huge difference. When you do something kind for someone else, you just might inspire them to do something kind for another, i.e. pay it forward. Also, you never know when your kind words or actions just might be the best part of a person’s day. Benefits to the giver include, among other things, a warm heart and the knowledge that you’ve done something good. Given that repeated action defines character, such efforts are great for positive character development! If you want to take it a step further, beyond the ole’ give and take of a healthy relationship and such as in my airport example above, reflect on James D. Miles’s profundity: “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”
The notion of paying it forward includes, of course, doing something without expecting anything in return. In relationships, I think this should translate into not keeping score. While healthy relationships are characterized by a degree of equality, we should also give freely in our relationships without expecting anything in return, the true definition of giving. Along these lines, a successful relationship has what I call “good flow.” That is, one person picks up where the other person left off. This may mean something as simple as a husband who cooks and a wife who cleans or “I’ll tidy up while you bathe the kids.” (Can you tell what phase of life I’m in these days?!) Simply put, this is the idea of working together.
The concept of paying it forward was made incredibly popular by Catherine Ryan Hyde’s 2000 book entitled Pay It Forward. This book blossomed into a beautiful thing called the Pay It Forward Movement, part of the Pay It Forward Foundation. This was then followed by the creation of the Warner Brothers movie of the same name. Talk about forward movement! For more information on the movement, check out http://www.payitforwardmovement.org. One of the best examples of the full circle of paying it forward is described in the song “The Chain of Love” by Clay Walker. For some other inspiring pay it forward stories, check out http://payitforwardday.com/inspire-me/best-pay-it-forward-stories/.
Challenge yourself this week to do something good for someone else, not expecting anything in return and hopefully for someone who can’t do anything for you or repay you in any way. You never know when you might get it back in some great and unexpected way.
