Last week, I finally returned to yoga after more than a month-long hiatus. I didn’t want to miss, but some things came up that took precedence. Life got really busy, as it often does, but I won’t bore you with my reasons (a.k.a. excuses). : ) Before that break, I had been doing yoga faithfully for a few months and loving it! Going back in last week, I was excited and looking forward to it. I figured I would suffer–call it self-inflicted punishment, I guess–for not having gone in awhile…stretches wouldn’t be as deep, my core would not be as strong, my headstand would no longer be intact. I am very happy to report that I was wrong. (I love being wrong about the right things!) I actually witnessed surprising muscle memory and even shocked myself a little. I left thinking: Yoga–The change is permanent. That thought is what inspired this blog.
Yoga is not just about changing your physical body; it’s really an emotional, psychological and spiritual journey as well. This is not dissimilar from needed weight loss or really any other important journey actually! That is, in order to successfully lose weight physically, you must also lose some emotional weight. I always tell patients, “When we stuff, we STUFF!” In other words, stuffed emotions = more eating in many cases. More people are emotional eaters than realize it, but you don’t even have to be an emotional eater to carry extra weight. For example, I think we can all agree that stress is, at a minimum, an emotional event. Well, we know that stress triggers the production of the hormone known as cortisol. We also know that this very hormone is responsible for extra weight held in the midsection. This is just one example of many, but you get the idea. I would go so far as to say that all important journeys involve an investment that is at least emotional.
With what I do for a living, I am the first to admit that change is difficult. Many people can do change for the short-term, but long-term change is more difficult. So many times, I see couples leave therapy only to return a few months later when one or both partners has reneged on the promise to remain changed. Even when we can see that change is beneficial, we may still default to our old ways at times. We may not see that our efforts at change weren’t truly in earnest, or we may fully recognize that we are working against ourselves. Somehow, though, it’s just easier, safer, less scary, etc. to regress. Check out my blog on Patterns for more on this idea.
An important concept to bear in mind here: “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Change is tough, and permanent change is more of a process than an event. I’ve often said that one of the most important lessons I learned in the military is that I’m dispensable. People often look puzzled when I explain that I’m happy to know that I’m not needed. How freeing it is to know that the world keeps turning despite your absence! In my case, the clinic was running fine before I got there and would run fine after I left. I don’t consider myself particularly narcissistic, but I always thought that I “had” to be there. The realization of my dispensability made taking time off so much easier! This was one of the best permanent changes to my own perception that I’ve ever made.
Though often difficult to accomplish, permanent positive change is incredibly rewarding. To get motivated, you have to take an honest look at what’s blocking you. You may have to check your ego or evaluate your own selfishness or, on the other end, poor self-image. I find that fear of some sort is generally what blocks people. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Sometimes, people are afraid to fail. Other times, they are afraid to succeed and then have to maintain the new standard or way of being. (This is actually a fear of failure also.) Setting boundaries often evokes fear of losing a relationship. You may have to lay out the advantages of change or the disadvantages of not changing. More to come on this in Permanent Change, Part II: Just Do It!
Probably the easiest yet most rewarding permanent change is becoming a Christ-follower. This happens when you make the decision to accept Christ as your personal Savior, recognizing that He is the only way to Heaven. This isn’t just believing in God, being nice or good, getting baptized or taking communion. This kind of change requires a high level of vulnerability and submission, but it is the single-most important thing we can do as humans. Many people struggle with the idea of “let go and let God.” I will tell you that this particular change is the most liberating thing I have ever done. It comes with the assurance that God has it, and this can be particularly helpful in the tough times. Now, don’t misunderstand, I’m not perfect at letting go, nor would I ever claim to have it all figured out; but that’s just it…I don’t have to be perfect, nor do I have to have everything figured out because God has it, He has everything under control. Our mission here is simple (not always easy, but simple): To serve Him.
Stay tuned for Part II: Just Do It! This will be a blog where the rubber meets the road. I will describe how we actually accomplish the change we desire.
