What follows is just a quick snippet on each of these topics. Each one is a discussion unto itself, but I thought I would share the response I recently gave someone. Maybe it will generate additional questions or questions about deeper layers of these topics for you or someone you know. Just shoot me a private message if so. ATAQ: "How is it possible to lose something if you never had it to … [Read more...]
Codependency
October 17, 2011 by
Many people have asked me about the differences between dependence, codependence and interdependence. I once came across a picture of various Saguaro cacti that depicted this beautifully, but I can't seem to find it anymore. So, I'll try to describe it here. Dependence, codependence and interdependence Dependence is a state in which one person relies on another for support in some … [Read more...]
Assertiveness
October 11, 2011 by
There are many aspects to assertiveness training. First and foremost, assertiveness is not to be confused with aggressiveness. I say that being assertive splits the difference between being passive and being aggressive. Being assertive simply means standing up for yourself, not in a rude, mean or domineering way but, rather, in a calm, direct way. When we are not assertive, we often allow … [Read more...]
Patterns
October 3, 2011 by
Patterns are all around us, in both nature and human nature. When we are not naive to them, they can show us beauty or a master plan, they can help us discern whether to be in relationship with a given person, they can help us see whether we need to make behavioral or perceptual changes and so on. When talking to people about looking for patterns in the behavior of others, I take a little … [Read more...]
Self-Esteem
September 26, 2011 by
Self-esteem is created from early experiences. Children see themselves reflected in the actions and words of significant people in their lives. This starts at birth with caregivers and continues to develop in response to relatives, friends, coaches and educators. Girls, in particular, get a great deal of their self-esteem from their fathers, largely because this relationship is a model for how … [Read more...]
Dramamongers
September 6, 2011 by
Everyone has at least one in his or her life. That person who is just "drama" and creates it wherever he or she goes. We are all familiar with the phrase "drama queen," but I've found that there are also plenty of "drama kings" out there. Hence, the word dramamonger in the title, i.e. someone who deals in drama. There are many reasons that a person deals in drama. For some people, it's what they … [Read more...]
Boundaries
August 27, 2011 by
Everyone needs boundaries. Boundaries are the limits you set in your life to take care of yourself mentally and physically. Boundaries require assertiveness and the recognition of one's own emotional and psychological limits. Some people confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness and, as a result, don't set the boundaries they need to take care of or even protect themselves. Many people, in fact, … [Read more...]
