According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is very common in the United States, affecting people of all ages at a rate of more than 3 million cases per year. According to the DSM-5, the diagnostic manual used by mental health providers, the symptoms of depression vary widely, with the primary identifying symptoms being depressed mood and/or lack of interest in activities. There may also be weight or … [Read more...]
How Do I Stop Being Afraid?
August 4, 2017 by
ATAQ: How do I stop being afraid? When we are blocked from doing something, however big or small, it’s fear that’s in charge. Fear is generated by negative automatic thoughts, or NATs, as I call them. These NATs are far more annoying and troublesome than the winged-variety gnats—even when they’re in a swarm! So, how do we overcome the fear that blocks us? Check out these 3 steps: Start by … [Read more...]
You’re Not a 2” x 4”: A Lesson in Dispensability
July 18, 2017 by
One of the best and most valuable lessons the Army taught me was that I was dispensable. You may be thinking, "Best--wait, what?" Though our inclination is to see dispensability as a bad thing, it can actually be a really good thing. Let’s take work for example. Maybe you feel like you have to take care of everything at the office. Maybe you feel like things will fall apart if you're not always … [Read more...]
Life Goal #467: Suck at hating.
April 7, 2017 by
If I have ever wanted to suck at anything, it is hating other people. No matter what a person does to you, living in unforgiveness is a choice--and an exhausting one at that! Not to mention that it only hurts you. The person you choose to forgive may not know--or even care!--that they need your forgiveness. Why continue to suffer at the hands of that offender by letting them remain in control of … [Read more...]
To Get Out, Go Through
April 7, 2017 by
"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost As a therapist, I see these as words to live by. Certain things in our emotional lives we can let roll off pretty readily, "like water off a duck's back." "Suck it up and drive on," as the Army teaches. Other things, we will be upset about for a time and then come to see differently after awhile, such that they don't bother us as much. Very … [Read more...]
Female Empowerment: A Letter to My Daughter
March 22, 2017 by
Recent events and a friend’s very powerful post have me thinking a lot about empowering our girls to become women. We can protest, we can share feministic ideals, we can proudly declare our femininity, but what are we really doing on the ground level to teach our girls how to become strong, independent women who are respected, valued and taken seriously? Here are just a few of the things I hope … [Read more...]
Got Sleep?
March 20, 2017 by
According to the National Institutes of Health, 60 million Americans experience sleep problems, ranging from occasional to chronic. That’s roughly 20% of people in the United States alone. Needless to say, I treat a lot of insomniacs in my daily work. The causes of sleep problems are many and can be biological or psychological. Either way, sleep hygiene may be able to help. Sleep hygiene is a … [Read more...]
Stop Living in Fear
March 13, 2017 by
Fear comes from the Enemy, and it plagues all of us to varying degrees. There are at least as many things to be afraid of as there are people to be afraid. Here, I’m not talking about being afraid of snakes, elevators, spiders, bridges and so on. I’m talking about fear that keeps you from moving forward in your life. When we are blocked from doing something, however big or small, it’s fear that’s … [Read more...]
Life is Like a Rubik’s Cube
March 3, 2017 by
Last year, Santa brought our son a Rubik’s Cube. I forgot how much I love that thing! The minute I started manipulating it, I was transported to my dad’s recliner in my childhood home, the place where I spent many hours playing with that cube. I immediately got sucked back in to trying to solve it. So, I persuaded our son to let me play with the cube on a recent flight to Texas. As I struggled … [Read more...]
Leave it to Beaver vs. Shameless: What is Normal and How Do I Get There?
February 28, 2017 by
One of the most common questions I’m asked as a psychologist is if this or that experience, thought, feeling or situation is “normal.” The bottom line is this: Normal is what you know. My normal and your normal will differ, just as each of us is different and so are our upbringings and life experiences since. Normal is very subjective, so there are about as many different definitions as … [Read more...]
