It's a daily struggle for every single one of us. Temptation comes in many forms. It may be a temptation to engage in a sinful behavior or to stay stuck in dark, negative thoughts that try to pull you away from God and his purpose for your life. What do we do with this challenge? We can't let our thoughts win. We have to shoot them out as quickly as they came in. In the words of Martin Luther, … [Read more...]
You Don’t Know Better Than God
April 7, 2017 by
"When you think you know better than God, that's like taking the baton from his hand when he's already finished the race and trying to beat his time." - Family Life Radio I love this analogy! So, what things do we do that indicate--whether we realize it or not--that we know better than God? There are many, but here are a few that came to mind when I heard this today: 1. Judgment: I'll say it … [Read more...]
Life Goal #467: Suck at hating.
April 7, 2017 by
If I have ever wanted to suck at anything, it is hating other people. No matter what a person does to you, living in unforgiveness is a choice--and an exhausting one at that! Not to mention that it only hurts you. The person you choose to forgive may not know--or even care!--that they need your forgiveness. Why continue to suffer at the hands of that offender by letting them remain in control of … [Read more...]
To Get Out, Go Through
April 7, 2017 by
"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost As a therapist, I see these as words to live by. Certain things in our emotional lives we can let roll off pretty readily, "like water off a duck's back." "Suck it up and drive on," as the Army teaches. Other things, we will be upset about for a time and then come to see differently after awhile, such that they don't bother us as much. Very … [Read more...]
Stop Living in Fear
March 13, 2017 by
Fear comes from the Enemy, and it plagues all of us to varying degrees. There are at least as many things to be afraid of as there are people to be afraid. Here, I’m not talking about being afraid of snakes, elevators, spiders, bridges and so on. I’m talking about fear that keeps you from moving forward in your life. When we are blocked from doing something, however big or small, it’s fear that’s … [Read more...]
Live in It or Learn from It: Overcoming Parental Abuse and Neglect
March 8, 2017 by
As you might imagine, I talk with people on the regular who were abused, neglected, abandoned and/or betrayed by their parents. Whether we like to admit it or not, our upbringing has a significant impact on our present-day living. This can be good or bad or some combination thereof. It may not be something we are consciously aware of, but trust me when I tell you that it's there. I've also seen … [Read more...]
How can grandparents be so much better than they were as parents?
March 3, 2017 by
Tonight’s ATAQ: “How is it that a set of parents who did such a poor job, were neglectful, were abusive, etc. can be such a great set of grandparents?” Well, you could always ask them in a tactful way. If you don't want to do that or they don't have an answer for you, here are a few possibilities: They learned a few things from raising their own kids. They've mellowed out over the … [Read more...]
Leave it to Beaver vs. Shameless: What is Normal and How Do I Get There?
February 28, 2017 by
One of the most common questions I’m asked as a psychologist is if this or that experience, thought, feeling or situation is “normal.” The bottom line is this: Normal is what you know. My normal and your normal will differ, just as each of us is different and so are our upbringings and life experiences since. Normal is very subjective, so there are about as many different definitions as … [Read more...]
Hope, Trust, Self-Esteem and Love
January 27, 2016 by
What follows is just a quick snippet on each of these topics. Each one is a discussion unto itself, but I thought I would share the response I recently gave someone. Maybe it will generate additional questions or questions about deeper layers of these topics for you or someone you know. Just shoot me a private message if so. ATAQ: "How is it possible to lose something if you never had it to … [Read more...]
Permanent Change, Part II: Just Do It!
June 4, 2014 by
Thank you, Nike, for that awesome motto that has oh so many applications! This blog is a follow-on to my previous blog, Permanent Change, Part I: Getting Motivated. As promised, this blog will discuss just how we go about real, lasting personal change. Mahatma Gandhi said, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the … [Read more...]
