Last year, Santa brought our son a Rubik’s Cube. I forgot how much I love that thing! The minute I started manipulating it, I was transported to my dad’s recliner in my childhood home, the place where I spent many hours playing with that cube. I immediately got sucked back in to trying to solve it. So, I persuaded our son to let me play with the cube on a recent flight to Texas. As I struggled … [Read more...]
Leave it to Beaver vs. Shameless: What is Normal and How Do I Get There?
February 28, 2017 by
One of the most common questions I’m asked as a psychologist is if this or that experience, thought, feeling or situation is “normal.” The bottom line is this: Normal is what you know. My normal and your normal will differ, just as each of us is different and so are our upbringings and life experiences since. Normal is very subjective, so there are about as many different definitions as … [Read more...]
“Mommy Is the Murderer!”
January 11, 2017 by
"Mommy Is the Murderer!" If I told you that I said these words tonight to my husband and children at the dinner table, you would either be (hopefully) shocked and/or think I had gone insane. Well, I did say these exact words tonight after my chosen character in the game of Clue, Miss Scarlet, was found to be the one who murdered Mr. Boddy in the library with a rope. Once it became clear that … [Read more...]
Should parents make their child stay involved?
August 18, 2015 by
ATAQ: Should parents make their child stay involved in something if the parents believe the child wants to quit for the wrong reason? This one is tricky, so I’ll give my most diplomatic answer: It depends. Honestly, it does depend on a number of factors, such as age, child’s interest level going in, whether it involves a team that he’s already committed to, type of child, what else is going on … [Read more...]
Giving Thanks
December 3, 2011 by
I'm writing this blog at this time of year at the risk of sounding cliche, but Thanksgiving this year really had me thinking about all I have to be grateful for in my life. This weekend's message at church really solidified that. In my line of work, I frequently talk to people about how to overcome their negative thoughts, as these can easily lead to self-defeating behavior. One of the best ways … [Read more...]
Anxiety
November 21, 2011 by
Whether you suffer from anxiety periodically or consistently, it boils down to the same thing: fear. That is, anxiety comes from fear, and that fear is a reaction to a perception of a loss of control, whether anticipated or actually occurring. Pick any situation, and explore it. You will find the same thing at the core. For example, anxiety about speaking in public comes from fear of embarrassing … [Read more...]
Need vs. Want
November 14, 2011 by
In recent years, I've often said that "need" is the nastiest of the four-letter words. I try to redirect people who use this word in situations that don't warrant it. True "need" is about life or death. I say that the only things we "need" for this life are food and water. Beyond that, for eternal life, we need Christ, but that's about it. In this day and age, I've noticed, many people use "need" … [Read more...]
Dramamongers
September 6, 2011 by
Everyone has at least one in his or her life. That person who is just "drama" and creates it wherever he or she goes. We are all familiar with the phrase "drama queen," but I've found that there are also plenty of "drama kings" out there. Hence, the word dramamonger in the title, i.e. someone who deals in drama. There are many reasons that a person deals in drama. For some people, it's what they … [Read more...]
Perception is Reality
August 15, 2011 by
Anais Nin, a writer and diarist who lived from 1903 to 1977, said, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." Call it "selective seeing," but each man's perception is that man's reality. In a sense, that's what makes the world go 'round. This can be problematic in our relationships and life in general, though, if that perception contradicts another's with whom we have to … [Read more...]
