Fear comes from the Enemy, and it plagues all of us to varying degrees. There are at least as many things to be afraid of as there are people to be afraid. Here, I’m not talking about being afraid of snakes, elevators, spiders, bridges and so on. I’m talking about fear that keeps you from moving forward in your life. When we are blocked from doing something, however big or small, it’s fear that’s … [Read more...]
Live in It or Learn from It: Overcoming Parental Abuse and Neglect
March 8, 2017 by
As you might imagine, I talk with people on the regular who were abused, neglected, abandoned and/or betrayed by their parents. Whether we like to admit it or not, our upbringing has a significant impact on our present-day living. This can be good or bad or some combination thereof. It may not be something we are consciously aware of, but trust me when I tell you that it's there. I've also seen … [Read more...]
Be Vulnerable with Your Kids
March 8, 2017 by
Let them see your human side. Be real. We want our kids to look up to us and think that we are spectacular, but they have to know that we are not perfect and that we can be vulnerable. Here are some ideas about how to accomplish this. Read to the end to see why it's important. *Talk to your kids about mistakes you make. Share the lessons you've learned. Kids often have to make their … [Read more...]
Life is Like a Rubik’s Cube
March 3, 2017 by
Last year, Santa brought our son a Rubik’s Cube. I forgot how much I love that thing! The minute I started manipulating it, I was transported to my dad’s recliner in my childhood home, the place where I spent many hours playing with that cube. I immediately got sucked back in to trying to solve it. So, I persuaded our son to let me play with the cube on a recent flight to Texas. As I struggled … [Read more...]
How can grandparents be so much better than they were as parents?
March 3, 2017 by
Tonight’s ATAQ: “How is it that a set of parents who did such a poor job, were neglectful, were abusive, etc. can be such a great set of grandparents?” Well, you could always ask them in a tactful way. If you don't want to do that or they don't have an answer for you, here are a few possibilities: They learned a few things from raising their own kids. They've mellowed out over the … [Read more...]
Leave it to Beaver vs. Shameless: What is Normal and How Do I Get There?
February 28, 2017 by
One of the most common questions I’m asked as a psychologist is if this or that experience, thought, feeling or situation is “normal.” The bottom line is this: Normal is what you know. My normal and your normal will differ, just as each of us is different and so are our upbringings and life experiences since. Normal is very subjective, so there are about as many different definitions as … [Read more...]
Bullying: A Lesson from Shakespeare
September 5, 2016 by
I was bullied. This is my story of resilience through understanding and choice. Bullying isn't just between kids at school--abuse, narcissism and racism are forms of bullying, too. Bullying is completely unnecessary and mean. Please share this article with young people. It doesn’t matter whether they are perpetrators of bullying or survivors of it; both groups need insight into the underpinnings … [Read more...]
Hope, Trust, Self-Esteem and Love
January 27, 2016 by
What follows is just a quick snippet on each of these topics. Each one is a discussion unto itself, but I thought I would share the response I recently gave someone. Maybe it will generate additional questions or questions about deeper layers of these topics for you or someone you know. Just shoot me a private message if so. ATAQ: "How is it possible to lose something if you never had it to … [Read more...]
Self-Esteem
September 26, 2011 by
Self-esteem is created from early experiences. Children see themselves reflected in the actions and words of significant people in their lives. This starts at birth with caregivers and continues to develop in response to relatives, friends, coaches and educators. Girls, in particular, get a great deal of their self-esteem from their fathers, largely because this relationship is a model for how … [Read more...]
Dramamongers
September 6, 2011 by
Everyone has at least one in his or her life. That person who is just "drama" and creates it wherever he or she goes. We are all familiar with the phrase "drama queen," but I've found that there are also plenty of "drama kings" out there. Hence, the word dramamonger in the title, i.e. someone who deals in drama. There are many reasons that a person deals in drama. For some people, it's what they … [Read more...]
