In the past couple of weeks since the tragic and unnecessary death of George Floyd on 25 May, I’ve been both talking race in my therapy practice and researching race more often than usual. I’m trying to be informed, trying not to be naive. I have greatly enjoyed the respectful interchanges and the willingness of people of color to answer my questions. I can’t speak to what it’s like to be anything … [Read more...]
COVID-19 and Anxiety
March 23, 2020 by
Check out this live I did with Pastor Mark Grochocki, another therapist, about psychological coping during the coronavirus outbreak. You'll hear specific coping skills for anxiety and answers to real-time questions submitted by viewers. You'll also hear the story of the silliness my 11 y.o. son is engaging in to keep things light during quarantine. (Note: No toilet paper was wasted in the making … [Read more...]
Don’t Be a Slot Machine Parent
October 21, 2019 by
When we want a child to behave a certain way, one of the best ways to ensure this is by using reinforcement. A schedule of reinforcement indicates whether a behavior will be reinforced after every time it occurs (continuous) or after only some times (intermittent). Each of those frequencies also has 2 possibilities, fixed and variable, resulting in 4 schedules of reinforcement. Of those, the … [Read more...]
School Shootings and Other Entitlement Fallout
August 16, 2019 by
After the school shooting in Florida awhile back, my husband became engaged in a discussion on social media about gun control. He responded to a post a man made noting how frustrated the man was with the “thoughts and prayers” sentiments he kept seeing on social media in response to these senseless acts of violence. The implication in his post was that faith has nothing to do with the solution to … [Read more...]
How Do We Measure Love?
June 2, 2017 by
It's been on my mind--and heart--to write about love this week. My husband and I have this thing with our kids, as I know many parents do, where we go back and forth with I love you, I love you more, I love you infinity and so on--about the only argument with my kids that I treasure! I say that I love them more and that it's impossible for them to love me more because I gave them life. Somehow, … [Read more...]
My Papa and Danielle Bregoli
April 5, 2017 by
My family just buried the most amazing man I have ever known: my Papa. My grandfather was 91 years old and led a life of impact. Among many other things, he fought for his country in World War II, he was active in the local church, he was the mayor of our Texas farm town, he was a hardworking small business owner and he never met a stranger. I know he had his faults, but I'm pretty sure he was … [Read more...]
Female Empowerment: A Letter to My Daughter
March 22, 2017 by
Recent events and a friend’s very powerful post have me thinking a lot about empowering our girls to become women. We can protest, we can share feministic ideals, we can proudly declare our femininity, but what are we really doing on the ground level to teach our girls how to become strong, independent women who are respected, valued and taken seriously? Here are just a few of the things I hope … [Read more...]
Live in It or Learn from It: Overcoming Parental Abuse and Neglect
March 8, 2017 by
As you might imagine, I talk with people on the regular who were abused, neglected, abandoned and/or betrayed by their parents. Whether we like to admit it or not, our upbringing has a significant impact on our present-day living. This can be good or bad or some combination thereof. It may not be something we are consciously aware of, but trust me when I tell you that it's there. I've also seen … [Read more...]
Be Vulnerable with Your Kids
March 8, 2017 by
Let them see your human side. Be real. We want our kids to look up to us and think that we are spectacular, but they have to know that we are not perfect and that we can be vulnerable. Here are some ideas about how to accomplish this. Read to the end to see why it's important. *Talk to your kids about mistakes you make. Share the lessons you've learned. Kids often have to make their … [Read more...]
How can grandparents be so much better than they were as parents?
March 3, 2017 by
Tonight’s ATAQ: “How is it that a set of parents who did such a poor job, were neglectful, were abusive, etc. can be such a great set of grandparents?” Well, you could always ask them in a tactful way. If you don't want to do that or they don't have an answer for you, here are a few possibilities: They learned a few things from raising their own kids. They've mellowed out over the … [Read more...]
