One of the most common questions I’m asked as a psychologist is if this or that experience, thought, feeling or situation is “normal.” The bottom line is this: Normal is what you know. My normal and your normal will differ, just as each of us is different and so are our upbringings and life experiences since. Normal is very subjective, so there are about as many different definitions as … [Read more...]
“Mommy Is the Murderer!”
January 11, 2017 by
"Mommy Is the Murderer!" If I told you that I said these words tonight to my husband and children at the dinner table, you would either be (hopefully) shocked and/or think I had gone insane. Well, I did say these exact words tonight after my chosen character in the game of Clue, Miss Scarlet, was found to be the one who murdered Mr. Boddy in the library with a rope. Once it became clear that … [Read more...]
Bullying: A Lesson from Shakespeare
September 5, 2016 by
I was bullied. This is my story of resilience through understanding and choice. Bullying isn't just between kids at school--abuse, narcissism and racism are forms of bullying, too. Bullying is completely unnecessary and mean. Please share this article with young people. It doesn’t matter whether they are perpetrators of bullying or survivors of it; both groups need insight into the underpinnings … [Read more...]
What do I say to others’ parenting interference?
March 3, 2016 by
ATAQ: “What do you do when parents and grandparents in your family give unsolicited advice or even try to undermine your parenting? For example, my mother-in-law tries to argue with me about my son being grounded and unable to go anywhere, even another family member’s house. Sometimes, she even launches into a spiel about how she used to parent, with the implication that I should be doing it her … [Read more...]
How do I help and trust my teen?
March 3, 2016 by
ATAQ: “My teenage daughter informed me that she recently had an experience with alcohol. There is a history of addiction in the family, and she has become very afraid that she will follow in those footsteps. The experience seems to have really scared her. She is apologetic and knows that she’ll have to work to rebuild trust. She’s previously been in therapy for depression and anxiety as well. Do … [Read more...]
Hope, Trust, Self-Esteem and Love
January 27, 2016 by
What follows is just a quick snippet on each of these topics. Each one is a discussion unto itself, but I thought I would share the response I recently gave someone. Maybe it will generate additional questions or questions about deeper layers of these topics for you or someone you know. Just shoot me a private message if so. ATAQ: "How is it possible to lose something if you never had it to … [Read more...]
How do I handle teen rebellion?
January 14, 2016 by
Call it a Christmas miracle, but I finally had time to write over Christmas break! My apologies and gratitude to those of you who have been waiting patiently for answers to your questions. Without further ado… ATAQ: “We have a 12 y.o. who is very negative when he doesn’t get his way. He appears lazy and doesn't seem to take pride in much of anything. Do children at this age regress because of … [Read more...]
Should parents make their child stay involved?
August 18, 2015 by
ATAQ: Should parents make their child stay involved in something if the parents believe the child wants to quit for the wrong reason? This one is tricky, so I’ll give my most diplomatic answer: It depends. Honestly, it does depend on a number of factors, such as age, child’s interest level going in, whether it involves a team that he’s already committed to, type of child, what else is going on … [Read more...]
How do I set boundaries with an inappropriate family member?
August 15, 2015 by
ATAQ: When a family member has a mood or personality disorder, how do you sympathize while also addressing the pain they cause others? When is it appropriate to draw the line and say, "The way you are treating me is not ok?" Excellent question...it's very challenging when someone we feel love and concern for tests the limits of our compassion by being abusive. Actually, whether we love the … [Read more...]
How do I help my child stay focused in school?
August 15, 2015 by
ATAQ: How can I help my child be successful in school when he is feeling overwhelmed and having trouble staying on task? I’ll tackle this issue from both logistical and psychological angles. Logistically, there are specific things that can be done both at home and at school to help your child feel less overwhelmed and more in control. In the bigger psychological picture, those things will … [Read more...]
