Many times I’ve heard people say that they feel so blessed in their lives and so fortunate, yet they feel depressed and they don’t know why. Some of them feel guilty about it, and others are just confused. Well, I have news for you: Gratitude and depression are NOT mutually exclusive. How can this be true?
First, consider genetics: Just like our parents can pass on their eye color or skin tone or their predisposition for diabetes or high blood pressure, they can pass on genes for depression, anxiety or any other mental health issue. Your life may be great, but you still have to contend with genetics that aren’t within your control.
Second, just because there are many good things in your life doesn’t mean there aren’t also bad things going on for you. Maybe you have a comfortable house, a car and a job to drive it to, but you are lonely. Maybe you have a happy marriage and wonderful, healthy kids, but you also have an incurable illness. Or, maybe you have a good quality of life and a supportive family and friends, but you just lost your spouse of many years. This can be situational or chronic. Good and bad are not mutually exclusive either!
Third, even though you are very blessed now, it doesn’t mean that you haven’t had a rough childhood or some other form of a difficult life before now that’s left an indelible impact on you. Because of this impact, your mental health can be affected.
Fourth, we face a very real enemy. Satan’s job is to keep us away from God. He tries to make us doubt God and the plan He has for us. One of the ways that he can do this is by putting thoughts in our heads that are dark or depressive, including having us focus on the negative.
Fifth, human nature is to focus on the negative, unfortunately. The brain processes negative emotions more thoroughly than positive ones, for some reason. For every negative comment we hear, it takes at least 5 positive comments to counteract it.
And sixth, things aren’t always as they seem. Just because someone has a good life on the outside, it doesn’t mean that things are good behind close doors. Maybe they secretly live with an addict, maybe they’re being abused, maybe they’re in so much debt they can’t see straight. The cover of the book may be beautiful, but the content really sucks.
So, what can you do about this?
First, you can still frequently remind yourself of your blessings, the things in your life for which you are grateful. A gratitude journal is a great way to do this. Start by writing down 3 things each day for which you are grateful. Write it down in a notebook, put it in the notes app on your phone or put it front-and-center on a dry erase board or chalkboard in your home or office.
Second, when negativity comes in, you can work hard to constantly redirect your attention to the positive things. You can look back at your gratitude journal for a reminder of the positives in your life. You can take some deep breaths and picture the positives in your life or some other scene that makes you happy.
Third, you can pray for positive thoughts, redirection or some other relief and tell the devil to get behind you. I have a friend who likes to say this aloud to herself when the going gets really tough (and she’s not in public!).
Fourth, do everything you can to ensure that you’re physically doing what you can to fight depression. Make sure you’re getting the right number of calories, drinking plenty of water, exercising and getting adequate sleep. For more on depression antidotes, click here.
Fifth, you can talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Maybe a different perspective or a more objective look at the situation can help you reframe things in a more positive–or at least less negative–way.
Sixth, you can get out of yourself. The best way to get out of yourself is to help someone else, like going on a mission trip or volunteering at a soup kitchen, disabled veterans’ association, homeless shelter or other agency that helps people who are struggling. This may also serve as a reality check, reminding us of the good in our lives.
If you or someone you know is struggling with this or another psychological issue, help is available. Talk to your insurer about available options under your plan. For more information on teletherapy sessions with me, visit the FAQs section at www.doctorbellingrodt.com.
DISCLAIMER: Material on this site is for informational purposes only. The content of this site is not intended to be a substitute for evaluation or treatment by a licensed professional. Information contained on this site should not be used to diagnose or treat a mental health issue without consulting a qualified provider. The use of this website does not convey any doctor-patient relationship. All material is the intellectual property of Jennifer Bellingrodt, Psy.D. The material is copyrighted and may only be reproduced with the express written permission of Dr. Bellingrodt.
